I’m Still Alive
Hey there to anyone who’s still out there following Copious Notes and hoping I update this place. It’s been just under two months and I’ve finally blown the dust off this place to get some new words out there to everyone.
Right now, writing this update almost makes me sad because I can feel the loss in my writing passion. I used to pride myself on updating here almost daily and now posts come trickling in every once in a blue moon.
I also feel that I’ve lost almost all the amazing connections I worked so hard to make during 2008. While I do see updates from people on Facebook, there really isn’t much interaction. At least, not as much as there used to be. I miss Melanie, Janna, Jenn, Auria, and everyone else who I became ‘friends’ with in this crazy writing world. I miss everyone. I miss the community I immersed myself in. I miss AbsoluteWrite.com and the time I spent there having fun with such great people.
This isn’t to say that I’ve been doing nothing or that my life isn’t filled with other things. My evenings are spent with my wife, relaxing. My days off consist of recording new episodes of my podcast with my best friend and also relaxing with whatever I want to work on. The main issue is that writing has taken a major backseat in my life right now. I’m not happy about it.
A few weeks ago I received a card in the mail from my Alma Mater about their annual “Summer Writers Week” coming up in June. My first thought was that I should attend and really get some skill-building done. Then reality set in: how can I attend a week-long writers conference when I don’t write? I also think the time, money and effort required to attend would be too much, especially when the school is about 2-hours away. That’s far when I have a wife at home.
So where does this leave me? Where does this leave my writing? For starters, I haven’t forgotten about it. My headset for dictation sits right next to me on my desk, just waiting to be used. This blog is on my Bookmarks Bar in Firefox & Safari, waiting to be updated. Spirit Hackers, it’s research and its outline have their claimed place on my desk as well.
My old work schedule when I worked nights, allowed me so much free time during the day that I was able to get a lot done. The flip-side was that I never saw my wife. I’d wake up at 9:30 or 10 am and then I had about 4-5 hours of whatever I wanted. I could get tons done and I usually did. I won’t lie though. I didn’t like the toll it took on me emotionally and the strain it put on my young marriage. The time apart from my wife was something I never could adjust to.
One issue that I think contributes to everything is my constantly-rotating shift at work. Every 6-months my schedule changes, making routines hard to establish. I know I can blame everything on it out of lazyness, but I won’t. I can just acknowledge it as a big reason.
In addition to writing, I’ve also been bad with the gym. That was another victim of my work changes. The gym is a distant memory, having stopped about six months ago. I struggle with figuring that out again as well.
So where does that leave me? Where do we go from here? I know I want to write. I know I want my life to be in order, the way I want it to be. I know I have people I can count on and most importantly I know I have the skills and tools to succeed if I apply myself.
I’ve said it before a thousand times and I’ll say it here: If you want something bad enough, you’ll make it happen. I need to heed my own advice when it comes to my priorities and make it happen. So for now, I will plan out what changes I have to make in my life to accommodate my goals and come back here refreshed and ready to take on the world once more.
For now, I want to let everyone know that I truly appreciate the friends I’ve made along the way and you have not been forgotten. I may not be around like I was not too long ago, but I am not gone for good. Thank you so much for all the help so far and I hope to re-connect with everyone out there. Thanks for hearing me ramble.
“The world, so hard to understand is the world you can’t live without.” -Billy Corgan